New Home

Things have returned to 'normal' and the airports are back up and running and the backlog of flights lessening. Thai Airways is sueing the PAD party for huge losses. The court ruled against the government which had to stand down (though they just shuffled things around and most of the party are now a part of the care-taker government. Names for a new PM are being put forward and general elections will probably only be held next year. By no means is the unrest over though as the divide between rich and poor is still very tangible... we wait with bated breath. The King celebrated his 81st birthday yesterday but was too sick to give his customary birthday speech. Circulating rumours make him out to be weakened by bronchitis, despite media claims that he only has a cough and slight fever. Again.. we wait with bated breath...

On the home front, last night was our first dinner party with five friends. This encouraged me to make the house homey and unpack more boxes. The desk and tv stand I had designed arrived two days ago, which made a big change to our sitting room. I will let the pictures speak for themselves :-)

Our xmas tree is up, filling in an empty corner quite nicely. We are both counting down the days until the 19th for the next ultrasound and our flight home to Portugal.

Judiciary Coup?

Could the situation in Thailand escalate into a French or Russian revolution? The royalty/elite against the proletariat? Lets hope not and that the normally peaceful Thais won't let things reach the point of civil war. However, things are certainly shaping up that way with the royalist PAD backed by businessmen and old Bangkok elite on one side and the PPP with the poor rural, middle class and educated nouveau riche families on the other. Though the PAD have allowed the 88 empty airplanes to leave the airports, there are still 350,000 passengers stranded in BKK. The fact that they abandoned their posts and live broadcast on PAD TV at the Government House (where they allegedly had access to stocks of counterfeit money) may also have seemed like a step in the right direction... but it was soon clear that these protesters were only relocated to the airports to strenghten their position.
So, what happened of the governments plans to deploy the police, navy and airforce to regain control of the airports? Well, the police chief was fired ( it is speculated that he refused to carry out this task) and a new chief appointed. Frankly, his attempt of sending 100 policemen to disperse a crowd of 10,000 angry protesters was feeble and a joke. The army still refused to collaborate with the government in the interest of national security and to rescue a flailing economy. I have learned that the protesters are being paid 500-800 Baht per day (10-15euro) and the security guards up to 1,500 (30 euro). This is a considerable amount of money and pick up trucks full of people are arriving from poor areas to profit from the situation. An absolute absurdity is that the main charity organisation (founded by the Queen - which further supports claims that the royal family is sympathetic to the PAD) are sending blankets and flasks of hot food to the 'poor' protesters as the cold nights are setting in.
The new development is the involvement of the Constitution Court. The PPP government, (whether or not it was an election free of bribery and rigging votes is unclear - though possible as it IS Thailand afterall) is comprised of a coalition of three parties. The smaller of the three, Chart Thai, has been facing charges of corruption in the election process. Despite the fact that the hearing still has a bit to go and over 100 witnesses still haven't given their testimonies, due to the political crisis (and possible pressure from the elite) the courts decided to wrap up the trial and give a ruling in the next few days. It also seems that they are going to rule on the other two parties without there ever having been a defense trial for them. Naturally, this has greatly angered the PPP (red) supporters, thousands of which, led by a new group UDD (United front of Democracy against Dictatorship), have gathered around the City Hall to prevent the judges from entering the building, prompting a decision to relocate the summation session to the Supreme Administrative Court. If the court hands down its expected decision on electoral fraud charges, this would ultimately lead to the dissolution of all three parties. Hence, a Judiciary Coup!! I guess, better than a military one but still the whole thing smells bad - on both sides. The biggest irony is that the military, who have been unbelievably resistant to do their duties in protecting national security at the airports, have become fully involved at City Hall and have been assigned to keep the 'reds' in check and prevent clashes between both groups! This to me reinforces suspicions that once again, the monarchy support the PAD, probably in an effort to remain in power as loyalty towards them among the educated classes has been waning over the past few years.
I spent ages yesterday doing research and speaking to my students (who thankfully are very open and well travelled/educated) to figure out what it is that the PAD want exactly. The first thing is that they want the PM to step down in order to break all ties with former PM Thaksin. In addition, from what I understand, each province has 3 seats in parliament. Instead of each parliament member being elected by the public as is usual in a democracy, the PAD want to reserve only one seat for general election and members in the other two seats would be assigned by a group of university professors, businessmen, doctors and lawyers. The justification being that the uneducated poor (which make up the majority of voters) are too easily led and too ignorant to choose what is best for the economy. Perhaps there is an element of truth here but it screams semi -dictatorship as two thirds of all power would rest in the hands of upper-class society. Such an imbalance of power could only lead to future unrest.
The question is, would it be best for all parties to accept the judiciary's authority, dismantle the government and give the power back to the people and hold a new general election? This may be the only way to quell the uprising.. I just hope that all this can be done fairly....and not a new version of the 'same same'. I hate seeing this beautiful country in such turmoil. One thing is for sure, Thailand will not come out unscathed from this political impasse. Another hope is that we can fly home for Christmas on the 19th!



Lets take the rare celestial configuration of the crescent moon, Venus and Jupiter which formed the shape of a 'smiley face' seen in Bangkok last night as a good omen for the Land of Smiles.

Reds vs Yellows

The whole situation in Thailand is infuriating! I can't believe that the royalist PAD (anti-government - yellow t-shirts) blockaded all access routes and stormed the airports. Insolence! and pure stupidity! Of course, people should be allowed to protest and voice their opinions (though in this case most of the active supporters are urban poor and being paid by the rich elite and businessmen - without really knowing why, except to say that the 'government is corrupt'). Hello!! The PPP government (red t-shirts) was elected democratically and has only been in power for less than a year! Besides, corruption will always be present in Thai culture.. well, it will take time to eradicate this. The only concern that is genuine is its ties to Thaksin (the PM is Thaksin's brother-in-law), who though a very smart businessman and certainly has done a lot of good for the poor in rural areas with his populist policies (shaking the power of the Thai elite - hence, their hatred of him), is unfortunately blemished with his human rights violations, abuse of power and nepotism corruption as well as his arrogance (not a positive trait among the more demure Thais). My frustration lies in the fact that the government has tolerated this to happen... That in my mind shows cowardness and uncertainty. Not once has the PM confidently spoken to the local and international community, putting people at ease with what they plan to do to bring the situation under control. They should have reacted immediately by removing the protesters by force if necessary, and getting the police involved from the beginning. They have finally woken up and ordered the air force and navy to clear the protestors and return things to normal. We'll see.Why not the army? Well, that is complicated.. the army answers to the King, not the government - one of the underlying reasons why it is difficult to establish a democracy here I think. They have too much power. Somchai PM has done well not to submit to the army's demands for him to step down in order to restore peace. I have no idea and it is too early to tell whether or not he makes a good leader, but dismantling governments because of the protests of a group of financially well backed (paid thugs and poor urban families) who unlawfully try to economically detroy the country, will and should never result in a democracy. There are always people on different sides with different opinions - bloody hell, that is the definition of democracy. The irony being that this group calls themselves the PAD (People's Alliance for Democracy).. what they have shown so far is that their definition of democracy is only if they are in power. However, it is very difficult to judge the situation and both sides are clearly at fault. The lack of assertion from the PM is certainly instigating a lot of this unrest in my opinion. There is also so much more behind this than meets the eye (grey areas - both historically and culturally, possibly the ease of swaying the uneducated poor (on both sides) - and even conflict within the Royal family). Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure.. what the PAD did was irresponsible and will negatively effect the tourism industry and this of course has obvious implications on the economy. In a way, I am almost glad for Thailand that it only made the top headlines for two days, with the terrible events in Mumbai taking precedence. Being a bit out of the exaggerated claws of the western media may calm things down in terms of tarnishing Thailand's image abroad. Naturally, life is the same as ever, we are not effected by these events as all violence and disruptions are very localised in areas near the Government House and unfortunately, now the airports. Despite the Coup rumours yesterday and workers being sent home early, nothing happened. So no need to worry :-)



This is a great article which voices a lot of my views on this: http://www.bangkokpost.com/topstories/topstories.php?id=132344 Inept under Siege

To have some clear answers check:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7584005.stm

The Move etc

Gosh it really has been a while this time. Things have been hectic this past month. We moved house (30-10-08).. from an apartment to a townhouse in a compound with security and pool. A professional moving company packed everything for us and I was under strict orders not to lift anything (at that stage I was still under 3 months). You know me .. though I did sit back a lot, I couldn't not be involved - and spent the week prior to the move organising things, giving old clothes/things to our maid, sorting out dvds, paperwork etc. Then, when we arrived at the house.. my maid and I unpacked everything (well, except for books, dvds, paperwork, teaching material.. as we don't have a desk or bookcases yet). That took quite a few days. then dealing with the hassles of discovering that there was no hot water in the kitchen and bathtub, leakages in the bathroom, no plugs in the right places, getting handymen in, trying to communicate with a non-forthcoming landlady who has never dealt with expat tenants before.. lead to a little pregnancy scare. I lost some blood and had severe bloating and cramping. Being alone (Amandio was in Vietname and I didn't wan't to scare him needlessly) I went to the hospital (which was another fight with the nurse who wanted me to wait til the next morning- my doctor had gone home for the day) and saw another fertility specialist who, after a full examination and ultrasound, told me that the baby was fine. I had just stopped my progesterone inserts a few days earlier and he thought that this may have caused a blood vessel to burst in my cervix and also upset my digestive tract. A big sigh of relief (called Amandio then) but the whole experience was actually very empowering really. I felt responsible for someone (that I had to fight for without any support) for the first time in ages - I started understanding that what it will be like to be a parent.. in times of trouble, you can't think, just have to go for it, act.. follow your instincts and fight all the obstacles .I know, many of you warned to make sure I really do nothing.. it is a hard exercise but also good for me and overall I have had to let go my control over many things and allow myself to be looked after (I love all the pampering too though). My resistance always being, 'there are so many women who are pregnant and do all the normal things (imagining them walking up and down Amsterdamer stairs with shopping), continue working etc'. Of course, IVF is different though and certainly more risky, expensive and the probability of it being successful is low. I do feel blessed and I am thanking my lucky stars in many ways; amazed that it worked the first time and that there was no miscarriage with all the things I have done - My rationale behind this is that this baby really wants and is fighting to be a part of this family. I haven't really suffered from any nausea (only slightly - causing my maid to believe that it is going to be a boy, according to Thai superstition) and on the whole this is quite an easy pregancy - now 14.5 weeks and not having another ultrasound (this will be our 6th) until the 19th December. Tiredness is the only thing that plagues me butI have restarted working, teaching one private student at home three afternoons a week and 10 hours at the school on average per week. This is quite doable but in the event I feel exhausted, it is fortunately no problem to cancel and reschedule classes.

Luckily, Tracie and her four year old, Pierce stayed with us as she looked for a primary teaching job in Thailand, eventually finding one in Phuket. It was great having an old friend around to chat to and laugh with, who also made sure that I didn't overexert myself. Having a child in the house was also a delight and brought much needed life (along with the hundreds of plants I have been buying to this unlived in house. We still have a long way to go but I am very relaxed about it and of course am trying to make it homely without spending all too much.. hence all the plants :-)

Ultrasound 3

This week was actually quite busy and I had two days of almost normal activity. Last Sunday in the market looking for furniture for the new house, I found this amazing shop that makes teak furniture in asian, classic, western and modern styles. After leafing through reams of catalogues, my eyes rested on a Chinese style tv stand. Naturally, I had to make some alterations to make it slightly more original and functional (hide away wires, fit DVDs into the square drawers etc). Since then I have also designed my own desk and am looking forward to going there to see if what I imagine on paper is at all possible in reality. Work has also been slowly mounting up again.. my private now comes three afternoons a week and I have done a few mornings at the school to cover for sick teachers or do testing. My time is also taken up with marking SAC essays.. which truthfully are driving me up the wall. Yes, this does mean that I am feeling good. My nausea has more or less disappeared, though I did vomit one night this week while brushing my teeth! Well, it was after a really nice birthday dinner with some friends. I think the combination of heavy rich Indian food and eating late was the cause which was then triggered by the taste of strong toothpaste and a toothbrush near the back of my throat.. lol.. details ;-)

The house is also ready for us to move in and the landlady already gave us the key. Huge disappointment with the sitting room floor though. A 'professional' tile cleaning company decided to put some chemicals on the floor, which instead of removing the stains as I had requested, stripped the colour and shine leaving the floor dull with even more grey patches. Deposits and first month's rent paid two weeks from moving in there isn't much that can be done. It was good practise for me not to get panicky and pedantic about it (for the pregnancy) so I had to let it go. Hope that our carpets will do the trick. Our elderly Thai landlady also (out of the goodness of her heart) bought us a dining table and chairs as we had requested. You can imagine the shock when I saw a round marble topped gaudy Chinese table with opulant carvings of ribbons and flowers painted in gold. This of course complete with eight chairs in similar style. The table top has a 'lazy daisy' (turn centre) which doesn't leave much room for western sized plates. Best intentions of course.. she paid 2,000 euros for it. All I wanted was a simple teak rectangular (all my table cloths are in this shape) table with either wooden or fabric chairs. I have seen beautiful dining table sets for 800 euros. Well, I really can't live with a table that looks like it belongs in an old fashioned palace, particularly next to our beautiful modern dark wood kitchen... so for now we are keeping the table and buying our own chairs. Hopefully a tablecloth will do the trick or we will eventually buy our own.

The head is now on the right hand side and you can see four (thankfully) white dots which are the limbs (arms and legs).
Today was our third ultrasound and once again everything was rosy. Our baby has doubled in size 2.97cm which corresponds to 9 weeks 6 days, meaning that it is one day bigger/older than it actually is (9wks 5days). It's heart rate is still as fast as it should be - 185bpm and most excitingly it has four limbs, a brain developing in the cranium (thanks to all the folic acid), the correct thickness of skin behind the neck (screening for Down Syndrome) and has even started boogying!! Restless little thing didn't stop moving.. bending and swaying :-) The doctor is very pleased and is confident that we are no longer at risk. Having said that he did warn us not to have sex (orgasms) yet.. until 3 months (that'll be almost 5 months without it.. don't think I have every abstained for that long!! Well, all for a great cause). He has okayed our trip to Portugal for christmas and doesn't foresee any complications. We won't get to know the sex until around 18 weeks.. I was hoping to tell the family as a christmas surprise.. but it'll have to wait until January more than likely. Our next ultrasound (they will no longer be vaginal and be through the belly instead) is in three weeks.. which will take us over the the crucial three month mark. I have to say, I feel wonderful and very confident. The only side effect I am having is tiredness which is easy to deal with. I consider myself lucky to be having such an easy pregnancy - well, considering the financial, physical and emotional strain we had to go through to actually get pregnant.. perhaps this is deserved :-) I still find myself counting my lucky stars that this has worked on our first IVF attempt.. a miracle in my eyes!

Heartbeat!!

Look how much bigger everything has become! Now, 1.37cms. You can see the head on the top.. looks a bit like a bean ;-)

Heartbeat.. 159 per minute! Feeling so happy.. everything finally feels real. I can start to believe that there is actually a live baby in there. Relief and joy prevail.

Walking down the hospital corridor after the ultrasound, emotions of sheer relief and happiness welled up, spilling tears over my cheeks. Amandio had his arm wrapped tightly around me - people who saw it must have thought that we had received some bad news.. but they were tears of happiness. I suddenly felt like I could finally trust everything. Hearing the baby's heartbeat had a profound impact on both of us. Amandio has become even more protective of me (tenderly placing a hand over my belly to secure the baby when we drive over bumps - as happens every second minute here on these streets!!) and he too feels confident. He can't tear his eyes away from children in restaurants, commenting on their actions.. he has even adopted a little gecko that has been living in our bathroom, feeding it ants! So, all is well - relaxing....

Updates: normal?

Life is slowly reestablishing itself. Not to give you a false impression.. the baby and crossing of fingers and toes that it is developing as it should be is always first and foremost on my mind. Last week was a time for socialising: a romantic Italian dinner with Amandio, Sunday brunch with our portuguese friend, staff dinner with work (see photos), Morrocon dinner with friends. Thankfully, I can still eat. My 'morning sickness' is non existant in the mornings and only rears its sickly head late afternoons and evenings. Though I haven't actually thrown up, I have come close many times. Those who know me well, know of my aversion to vomiting and how I will avoid and prevent it at all costs, despite the knowledge that it can help me feel better at times. The nausea is similar to what I get when I am really hungry (shaky, irritated, hot, dizzy and queasy) so my first reaction is to get something to eat. This sometimes helps... Eating has become less of what I feel like having but more what the baby needs. For instance, I met Amandio for lunch yesterday and we had lunch in an organic restaurant which is famed for its paninis (I am a huge fan). However, I sensibly chose vegetable soup and salmon (when does one ever really 'want' salmon?). I can't stand the smell of garlic anymore and after eating an egg a day for a week (good source of protein) my stomach turns at even the thought of them. Broccoli, an all time favourite vegetable, is another one that I overate and have become 'allergic' to. Oatmeal porridge has become my latest obsession.. we will see how long it takes for me to turn off it.


I started back at work yesterday teaching only two students (10am-12)... very relaxed. It feels great to be back in the office though being up and active that early did make me look a bit unsightly when I met all my colleagues. They were polite enough not to say it at the time, but the look of concern made it obvious and the tactful.. you are looking perkier now.. at the end of my lesson. Only teaching these girls every second day is great and also gives me time to teach a private student at home on the days I am off. A nice slow introduction back into the land of work.


The move is fast approaching and we are already busying ourselves with organising and, my favourite, throwing away things as well as getting removal companies in to give quotes. We have decided that we want them to pack our things too, which hopefully will make it all stress free. Unfortunately, asking them to unpack is futile seeing as we don't really have the furniture yet to do that. Therefore, we have been spending the past few days pouring through catalogues for shelving units, tv stands and desks. I think that a trip to Chatuchak market is in store ;-)


Right, I'm off to the pool to read 'Empress Orchid by Anchee Min' and get a bit of vitamin D in the morning sun.

1st Ultrasound

LOL.. can you spot the 'yolk'? (look for the faint circular outline in the left of the gestational sac? (big black dot) - erm... that is supposed to be our baby).

What was a very stressful morning turned out to be an even weirder afternoon. Seeing the gestational sac on the monitor during the ultrasound.. IN MY UTERUS and not in my fallopian tube... didn't give me the sense of relief I was expecting. Amandio felt the same. On hindsight we both think that it has something to do with the fact that it was ONE and not twins. Strange that, I guess we had already become accustomed to the idea of twins and this in a way seemed like a let down. Silly really, it was only a possibility of twins anyway. To be honest, twins would have posed a challenge, both financially, in terms of our lifestyle and soon to be three storey home. This way we can focus all our energy on one spirit.. slightly less confusing too.

Naturally, we are overjoyed that there don't seem to be any complications so far and we even faintly spotted the circular 'yolk' (the new christened name for our baby! LOL) on the left corner of the sac. The ultrasound and size of the sac, which is full of fluid for the growing baby 'yolk', determined that we are now five weeks and 4/5 days pregnant. Our next ultrasound is on 11 October to hopefully see our 'yolk' more clearly. Also, I have decided to go back to work and do three hours maximum of teaching per day (I will request an easier course with few students). Our move will also get some attention now, starting with phone calls to removal companies on Monday. Life continues and we lovingly allow the 'yolk' to grow ;-)

Another wait...10 days

I don't know why it is so difficult for me to write about these 'waiting' periods. Perhaps because this time is like a kaleidoscope of emotions playing tug of war. These shape shifting emotions, being very momentary and transient in nature, make it challenging to sculpt them into words. This time, it is not the anxiety of the unknown which is playing games with my rationality, but more the dark spindley fingers of fear wrapping themselves ruthlessly around the warmth and happiness that I feel. It is almost as if temporarily containing my euphoria is paramount in self protection. Let me try to explain... in pregnancy this is a very strange time. The first few days of extreme nausea dissipated, transfiguring into fatigue and random waves of feeling queasy. Emerging from these intangible signs of pregnancy is doubt .. and guilt when I forget. Then I chide myself for being too abrupt in my movements or careless. Naturally, I don't dwell on this and channel positive energy to draw on success. As my wise mother always says, don't feed those demons.. instead acknowledge them and allow them to amble on by. .. they're running.. :-)
I sense a female spirit. When conveying this to my mother, a woman very much in tune with spirituality and who swears she felt my spirit entering her body when I was conceived, I was surprised at her nonchalant remark "this probably derives from you feeling feminine due to all the extra oestrogen". Well, that took me by surprise.. she is probably right.. but I will admit that I already have a list of girls' names which I add to or detract from on my bedside table. Sometimes not knowing whether it is one or two is quite confusing.. particularly in times when I speak to them/it? internally. Ostensibly, Amandio and I have adopted 'two' in our communication... texts such as "how are my three babies this morning?" after which a smile erupts in my heart. Moreover, visualising both of them nestled in a warm pink cocoon, wrapped in an iridescent blanket of love before going to sleep at night, is a tranquil lullaby for all of us I think.
My biggest fear rests its laurels on the memories of the pain I felt on discovering that our last pregnancy was ectopic.. yes, during the first ultrasound which then was done at 8 weeks.. and this time will mark the end of this ten day wait. Any slight discomfort or pain on my left side immediately resounds bells of alarm .. the left side being where I have my only fallopian tube. It is relatively easy to squash this fear by justifiying it with the bouts of constipation and stomach cramps plaguing my days, brought about by my nightly progesteron inserts. Progesteron slows bowel activity and any movement in that general area in order for essential vitamins and minerals to pass to the growing placenta. The joys of it!
The days are slowly slipping by and have taken on a routine of eating regularly, drinking loads of water .. bathroom visits... mornings reading in the shade by the pool, catching up with friends on the internet, sleeping in the afternoons, watching movies in the late afternoons when I feel my worst and early to bed with my book.
Needless to say, I am happily awaiting Amandio's return tonight so that we can face my demons together. While I know that there will be a fear of disappointment gnawing at my insides as the day of the upcoming ultrasound approaches, I am confident that it will be a beautiful experience and can't wait to see them/it? safely attached in my uterus... looking forward... gingerly ;-)
There is also immense joy and gratitude in the knowledge that we are another step closer to accomplishing our dream... our own family. A dream conceived almost 6 years ago. Boy.. it has been a long wait! So, what is another few days?.. perhaps I am better at this waiting game than I thought ;-)

IVF 9 - Pregnant!

The pregnancy test! :-) A bit of a change from the Home Pregnancy tests!

After a restless early morning with numerous trips to the bathroom and a beautiful message from Amandio (Sarita, no matter what happens, I love you) which put me at ease I was off in the taxi at the ungodly hour of 7:45, feeling apprehensive yet plagued by nausea, to do the Beta blood test at the hospital . I had a two hour wait in a quiet corner in the lounge for the results during which time I splashed out on a British decoration magazine and kept focusing on breathing to calm my jitters. I arrived back to the fertility clinic early where the nurse did the customary blood pressure and weight check. Then, I settled back on the couch to do some more of my favourite hobby these days.. 'waiting' :-)

Suddenly, (only after just over an hour) our doctor pops his head around the door and says.. "congratulations! we got the results" and shook my hand.. followed by a nurse who said "you're pregnant" and gave me a huge hug. I was stunned, in disbelief. It took me a second to regroup and realise that yes, I am pregnant, with the first IVF! My first reaction was to send a text to Amandio who, poor guy, is still in China. The next 20 minutes was a flurry of texts with Amandio (who is the biggest sweetheart), a silly wide grin a permanent fixture on my face.. and nurses walking past full of smiles and congrats (got to know them a bit after our numerous trips there). Finally, the doctor was ready to see me (he had many other patients to attend to) and after I had given him a hug of delight and appreciation, informed me that not only am I pregnant but there is also a strong possibility that I am pregnant with twins! Apparently, my HCG hormone level (released when the placenta starts forming - indication of pregnancy) is extremely high. The hCG hormone is measured in milli-international units per milliliter (mIU/ml). Over 50 is considered positive for pregnancy.. well, mine is 629!! Hence the speculation that there are two gestated embryos :-) Lots of excitement all day communicating the good news to family and friends.. feeling nauseas (yeah.. still need to write the TWW part of this blog to fill you in there - but the last two days, especially the mornings have been hell) and it is only going to get worse... but I am over the moon. Naturally, we are both feeling a little reserved as it is early days yet and we still have a long way to go, with more hurdles to cross.. but, by gosh, it is looking very positive! Oh, did I mention that it feels like a girl :-) (or two!). Well, as Amandio said.. "they are all welcome".

The Two Week Wait

This is perhaps the most agonising time. (oh.. good start! I have to lie down..not feeling at all well these last two days... to such an extent that I called the hospital today (16/09) to check .. will continue later)

Updates: Thai Politics

Interesting Times..

As you may have read, the political scene in Thailand is as hot as ever. Former PM Thaksin has jumped bail and taken refuge in the UK from where he continues to try to influence things here. Although he hasn’t managed to get his Thai assets unfrozen, he’s managed to turn a healthy profit on his Manchester City transactions. £50million or so in a year isn’t bad and should keep him in comfort while he plots his return. It must have been a shock when the courts handed out guilty verdicts to his wife and associates over their fraudulent land deal, and show every sign of hammering him too for his various alleged offences. Meanwhile, his lawyer is in jail for a particularly inept attempt to influence court officials with a 2million baht (£35,000) lunchbox.

The Foreign Minister (a Thaksin man, who gave him back his diplomatic passport, despite the ongoing corruption investigations) was forced to resign over his agreement to a proposal by Cambodia to nominate Preah Viharn as a World Heritage site. Preah Viharn is a Khmer temple on the Thai Cambodian border, whose ownership has been in dispute for years. Tension in border areas rose and soldiers were mobilised, but fortunately no shots were fired and the pressure seems to be subsiding now that everybody has got what they want from it. It was a useful political tool for the Cambodians at election time, and was also used by the Thai opposition as a rallying point against Samak’s government. The suspicion was that the agreement was good for the business interests in Cambodia of a certain person (Guess who? The name begins with T). Whether the accusation has any substance doesn’t matter, because in the current climate some Thais are ready to believe any allegation, true or not.

Current PM Samak is having a tough time too. The Popular Alliance for Democracy (PAD) which protested against Thaksin and eventually unseated him, has also been having a go at the current government, and Samak in particular. They have been demonstrating for several months and recently upped the stakes by invading Government House. They are still camped outside in a sea of mud because of the recent heavy rain - like Glastonbury without the music and toilets, but with good Thai food from vendors, who never miss an opportunity, and other supporters, many of them from the educated Bangkok middle classes. They also invaded the government TV station, accusing it of bias, and managed to close several regional airports, including Phuket, stranding 15,000+ passengers for day or two.

While PAD demonstrations in the south have been reasonably unopposed, a month ago, one in Udon Thani in the north east turned nasty when government supporters clashed with the PAD. One man was killed and many others wounded. Government supporters also started their own pro-government demonstrations in Bangkok and there was the potential for real trouble. Meanwhile Samak had been alternately threatening action against the PAD and then currying praise for his softly-softly approach, which has been forced on him because it appears the army is not with him. Without the backing of the army, who very sensibly say this is a political problem, and should be sorted out by political means, the police have been very restrained and Samak has appeared powerless.

He has so far resisted all attempts to make him resign because of this political strife, but he was forced to resign yesterday because, after becoming PM, he broke the rules by continuing to appear on a couple of TV cookery programmes which he has hosted for many years. Unfortunately the rules don’t disqualify him from standing again, so the expectation is that he will be re-appointed tomorrow by the ruling coalition. (One alternative appears to be Thaksin’s brother in law, but that won’t satisfy the PAD either.) This temporary setback is unlikely to deter him from continuing on his present path, which is leading the country into paralysis.

The Thais are faced with very uncomfortable choices: the current government, which for all its faults was at least democratically elected or the Popular Alliance for Democracy, which is not a political party, but a loose grouping, one of whose stated purposes is to reduce democracy because they claim that most Thais are not sophisticated enough to understand what it’s all about and will therefore vote where the money is, leading to institutionalised corruption. They may be right, but it’s not a very progressive attitude and doesn’t bode well for Thai politics in the future.

Samak’s coalition won the election with a thumping majority, giving the ruling Bangkok elite and the army a bloody nose in the process, because essentially, the government is Thai Rak Thai under another name, but without Thaksin. The coup in September 2006 therefore changed very little apart from getting rid of Thaksin himself.

However, the short-lived coup government did initiate anti-corruption investigations which have been grinding on remorselessly. This committee has been beavering away, resisting attempts to deflect it from its course and the courts have handed out guilty verdicts to those who are deemed to have misbehaved, which of course includes the T family.

Samak’s government has been trying to change the constitution to make these investigations unlawful so that Mr T can have all his money back, and so that over 100 politicians can re-enter politics despite vote-buying and other illegal electoral activities.

The PPP (Samak’s party) draws its support mainly from the north and northeast (T country). The PAD is supported mainly by the Bangkok educated classes and the south. The south has for many years been Democrat country. The Democrats are almost invisible at the moment despite having a very well-spoken Oxford-educated leader. They crop up in the papers occasionally, and have a substantial but insufficient number of seats in parliament, but the headlines have been grabbed by the PAD and Samak.

There seems to me to be a real danger of an even more divided country if Samak is re-appointed. One of the main aims of the PAD is to get rid of him so they will almost certainly continue to protest, with the prospect of violence between opposing groups of supporters. The time may come when the army is forced to step in to maintain civil order.

So, to summarise, the Thais have an elected government considered by many of being a front for Mr T, which might be forced out by an unelected group protesting against corruption and everything to do with Mr T, and which is openly advocating a less democratic system.

The economy has been badly hit by all the political uncertainty. For example the closure of the airports led to a flurry of cancellations by tourists, who just want their fortnight on the beaches and in the bars, without the risk of wasted days stuck at airports. We read today that tourist arrivals have dropped by 70%. The PAD and the government both seem intent on killing the goose which lays the golden eggs.

We just hope that a middle way can be found to restore peace and stability.

IVF 8

Thursday 4th September was Embryo transfer day. Full of anticipation Amandio and I, both donning green (Amandio) and blue (me) surgery gowns, hands sterilised, hair up in those shower cap things were a sight for sore eyes as we waited in a private hospital room. This was a real Kodak moment, but unfortunately we couldn't take the camera with us. I was like a yo-yo back and forth to the bathroom... my pre-surgery routine :-) A friendly nurse wished us luck as she took us to operating room 4.

In the operating theatre we learned from our doctor that 11 eggs had been successfully retrieved from my ovaries the previous Monday. During this time conditions of the reproductive tract were imitated - embryologists in the laboratory carefully controlled factors such as nutrients, acidity, humidity, temperature, gas composition of air, and exposure to light and the eggs were monitored for a few hours before insemination. The five hour interval between egg retrieval and insemination mimics the time required for the sperm and eggs to travel and meet in the fallopian tube following intercourse and ovulation. Out of the 11 eggs, 10 were healthy and adequate for fertilisation and leftundisturbed or another 12-18 hours. Usually 65% of these fertilise... 7 of mine did which were then closely monitored to check their development. Embryo selection criteria is based on the rate of embryo development and embryo morphology. 3 of our embryos were abnormal (which can lead to miscarriage, birth deformities etc). Delighted with 5 healthy embryos, 4 six celled and 1 seven celled we decided (well, actually the doctor did) to go for two.. No. 6 and 7 :-) The other three were frozen and will be (if No. 6/7 lead to pregnancy and baby) for the next five years... still a very weird concept for me.

Transfering No. 6 & 7, as we have affectionately christened them, was a beautiful process. Let me try to paint the picture and capture the mood. Amandio was steadfast at my side, hands held firmly... the doctor and his entourage of nurses busy between my bent legs, preparing my uterus. The IVF lab, where the embryos were cultured and incubated, was connected to the operating theatre via a small tinted window. The temperature was carefully set to 25 degrees, optimum for minimal embryo disturbance. The nurses bustling about suddenly became very serene, with gentle movements. The lights were switched off except for the spotlight exposing my well, you know.. and the dim light of a monitor. The window slid open and two hands gingerly passed the dish with the embryos to a nurse who placed them on a microscope. We saw our No. 6 & 7 for a few seconds on the monitor as they were carefully sucked up into a cather from the culture dish. With almost ceremonial moves it was passed to our doctor (he had previously opened my cervix wide enough and prepared the area) who inserted the incredibly long looking cather into my uterus and delicately pushed No. 6&7 into their new home. The air was dripping with magic, watchful eyes in the serene darkness, the positive thoughts sent out from those present and tenderness between Amandio and I was palpable. It wasn't until the cather had been passed back to the nurse who verified under the microscope that the contents had been removed, that the lights were switched back on. I then spent the next two hours on the same table motionless (for fear of upsetting them) and praying that No. 6&7 would adapt to their new home. Amandio was wonderful kissing my womb .. twice ;-) before curiosity led him around the room examining all the tubes, equipment, machines.. he even started fiddling with the buttons on my bed trying to make it slightly more comfortable. Despite my fears that he would cause my bed/table to flip, separate or somersault, he managed to raise my legs slightly to alleviate pressure on my back. After some quiet moments, Amandio left twenty minutes early to look after the bill and collect oestrogen tablets and progesteron inserts from the pharmacy and organise everything so that we could just leave after I got up. It was bed for me when I arrived home and that is where I stayed for the next 24 hours for the embryos to hopefully develop into blastoplasts and embed themselves in the lining of my womb. We hope and wait...

FIVE years

The surprise gift was this beautiful sapphire ring! Click on the image to see the detail. Gorgeous.. 18K white gold with a beautifully cut Ceylon sapphire and 36! cut diamonds (gives a great BLING!). I just love the heart shape on the side of the setting.. kind of Art Deco style (my fav). I still say Amandio is mad.. (thinking of bedside tables, bookcases, desk that needs buying for our new house).. but boy, it sure makes me feel extra special and loved :-)

Just had to quickly come to the computer to mark the five year date on my blog.

Amandio, I love you and hope we have many more glorious years to come.. we will get through everything together.. you and I, though very different people at times.. are made for each other.

Thanks for all the best wishes.. the operation went extremely well and now have two healthy embryos trying to find a home in my uterus lining. Will add more when I can..

Love you all

IVF 7

At what seemed like the crack of dawn on Monday morning after a broken sleep we battled our way through Bangkok traffic to the hospital (our home away from home these days). At 9am after being prepared I was taken to the operating theatre. Hands and faces fussed above me, skillfully positioning my body, robes, arms with bloodpressure band and finger with heart monitor. An IV was inserted into my hand.. nurses were rattling metal preparing the instruments (that looked scary enough) and the anaethesiologist leafed through a magazine behind my head as we awaited the arrival of my doctor. A squeeze on the arm and a 'sweet dreams' was the last thing I remember as the room began to swim before falling into a dark pit of oblivion. I woke up at 9:45 (there was a clock in front of me) with a deep thudding pain similar to a bad dose of menstrual cramps. Lifting my legs eased the pain slightly. I became aware of a nurse writing on my chart and two other women in the room. I drifted off to sleep knowing that I was to spend possibly two hours in recovery. So, with nothing else to do I pulled the blanket over my eyes (I hate those flourescent bright lights) and nodded off.. the tight squeeze of the blood pressure band awaking me every 20 minutes. Just over an hour later I was asked to sit up and move to the wheelchair.. the pain had subsided and I felt very coherent. I was wheeled to the IVF room where Amandio was waiting for me (he had already given his 'sample'... twice :-) The operation was actually pleasantly straight forward (expected some blood when going to the bathroom.. but wasn't any). Amandio took me home and put me to bed for some rest. I felt fine and actually spent the next few hours reading (Madame Bovary.. fantastic book!) until the munchies struck and off I went to the kitchen for some food. I am afraid I pigged out a bit (had been fasting for over 24 hours at this point) on bread and cheese. I don't know if this is what caused it but since then I have been suffering from severe bloating and tenderness in my whole stomach area. The next day I lay by the pool and was fairly active, talking to the building manager to hand in our notice, visited my neighbour friend and did some interneting. I got a little worried about the swelling when it didn't go down but a phone call to Amandio reminded me that I had had the same after my last operation (the anaesthetic wearing off). Today I decided to take it easy and haven't left the house, though I am sorely tempted to meet Amandio after work for dinner (it may be my last chance to go out in a while as I will be confined to my bed for a while after reinserting the embryo). I will probably not be able to update my blog for a while. The big day is on Thursday at 8:30 at we are both really looking forward to it!! We have no idea how many eggs have been fertilised, how the development of the embryos is progressing and will need to decide soon on how many good quality embryos we want to insert (twins?!) and freeze. Amandio will be present this time in the operating room (we thought that was important, afterall.. this is the conception of our baby :-) .. with a camera...

On a different note, things in Thailand seem to be getting progressively worse but funny how our own private concern takes precedence and overshadows the political turmoil that is ravaging the city. Fortunately, despite declaring the city in a state of emergency, nothing of this is reflected in our lives and things go on as normal. It is really only the area around the Government Building that is effected.
We also signed the contract of our new town house.. well, Amandio did.. last night. So, a move is imminent and on the horizon for November.

IVF 5 & 6

IVF 5 was a trip to the hospital on Saturday afternoon (28th) to do another ultrasound to check the development of the follicles. The report reads that my uterus is growing in thickness, the endometrial thickness being 10.3 for double layers (appears to be perfect). This time the leading follicle was 21.4mm and the 10 others ranged from 9mm to 19.2mm. Ready to start the process...



IVF 6.. that evening at 10pm (exactly 35hours before the retrieval of the eggs) I had to go to emergency to get another injection to induce ovulation. We actually had friends over for a Blackjack night, but Amandio came with me anyway, the sweetheart. This time it was in my stomach.. excruciating!! Just the thought of a needle entering my stomach had it in convulsions almost and the nurse had to relax me into it. What probably freaks me out the most is that stomachs are prone to involuntary jerks.. that could have disasterous results in my mind if a needle is also involved. The nurse was great and it all went smoothly. Meanwhile Amandio bought some Cafe Lattes and brownies from Starbucks (you haven't been to a real hospital until you have seen the opulence that is Bumrungrad. It is more a mix of a hotel and shopping mall.

Updates: Friday

My last hormone injection today! Hurrah!! See how he holds the injection poised like a dart!!

I'm going crazy with the whole house situation too! .. the landlady of the townhouse we are interested in got back to us and said that yes, a November move would be okay afterall! This was after her saying that she had lots of interest from others to start a lease in October and so would not keep it for us! Out of the blue yesterday the agency told us that she really liked us, realising that we would look after her house and treat it as our own! Therefore, she is willing to wait until November. Meanwhile we had already decided to stay here and were happy and relaxed. Then, to add turf to the flames, our landlady told us this morning that she will renovate all hte bathrooms and kitchen for a small rent increase! Pffff.. decisions.. I give up! LOL .. At least it is keeping my mind occupied. :-)

Amandio's last day at work.

IVF 4

At Bumrungrad hospital at 08:00am on the 28th in treatment room No. 8 (Amandio pointed out all the eights ;-). The morning started off with a bloodtest (quick and efficient.. Amandio popped his head into the lab to sneak in this pic!) We then waited for two hours during which time we had breakfast and signed the millions of formal documents (things like who is responsible for the frozen embryos in the event of death or divorce).

After all the bloodwork was analyzed the doctor met with us and explained that the HC level was still low (meaning no fear of ovulating spontaneously - that first injection I had one week before my period to supress ovulation is still having an effect). My oestrogen level was about 800, an increase from 96 (or so) from the first blood test. It needs to be between 1000 and 1500 to indicate a presence of enough follicles (eggs) in order to remove them. The ultrasound also showed that there are now about 7 eggs in total, one of which is the right size 1.9cm and others trailing a bit behind. It was decided to continue the hormone shots for two more days, continuing the 300ml dose. On Saturday afternoon we will have another ultrasound to do a final check of follicle development before getting the final injection to induce ovulation. The extraction/harvesting operation may well be on Monday, Amandio's first day at work at Sofitel! Oops.. well, he just needs to be there in the morning to provide his 'sample' ;-) The operation won't take all too long and I should be out by midday or so.. I think Amandio can easily focus on his job that day and leave me to it. We will know more after the next ultrasound...

IVF 3

Time to start monitoring the follicles containing the individual eggs. We went to the hospital on 25th August (10am) for an ultrasound. Apparantely, my uterus is normal in size and shape (that's a relief!), the endometrial thickness is 7.2mm with double layers.. I suppose this is okay too.. haven't been told otherwise. My right ovary (where fallopian tube was removed) contains 4 follicles ranging from 9.4 to 12.2 mm, the left only one follicle of 10.1mm. The follicle sacs need to be 10-12mm big.. but we need more than 5 seeing as some may not be healthy.. there are several other ones which are much smaller and still need to develop further. Up goes the dose to 300mm per injection for another three days... more hormones, another bill and trip home with the freezer box. Next appointment is on Thursday 28th. I have stopped working at school completely now and have just my one private at home. Last night, I had a great girlie night with my Thai friend, lots of chatting over dinner in a Vietnamese restaurant and a feel good chick flick movie 'The Made of Honour'.. just what a girl needs ;-)

IVF 2

The 19th of August was Day 1-2 of my period so off to the hospital we went to do some blood tests. Hormone levels were checked along with all the usual pregnancy tests we had done already this time last year. We had to wait two hours for the results, but of course this was unrealistic seeing as Amandio had to go back to work. It was time to start the ovarian stimulation and monitoring phase with gonadotropin injections.. hormones!! The nurse trained Amandio on how to measure the dosage and administer the injection (intramuscular). The choice was either below my belly button or on my arm... I didn't hesitate for a second on that one! Arm!! We paid a small fortune, got our little freezer box filled with all the necessary drugs and equipment and off home we went. Actually we didn't go home, we had a viewing appointment with the landlady at the townhouse we are interested in to negotiate some of the terms of contract and renovations etc. The doctor called us later to tell us that the dose should be 250ml per injection for 5 days, starting the following day. (involves calculations based on hormone levels).

Day one of the injections (20th August at 9:30am) was memorable. Amandio makes a great nurse.. but after it was all over, he admitted that he just 'had to go for it, without thinking' :-) No hiccups the first day. The second day.. well, imagine the scenario. Me standing by the window, looking away, with a needle sticking into my arm,
when a voice says.. oops! OOOPPS!!??? Amandio had forgotten to measure the dose which he realised only after he had stuck the needle into my skin. So, that day made for two injections.. the second one hit a vain too so bled a bit. I still have quite a bruise to show for it! We had a good laugh! Needless to say, my arm being just a little tender, we swapped to the left arm the next day. The next three days were uneventful. Amandio was really great and is now a pro. As for the side effects, well.. I didn't have any. I have heard about and read many experiences with this when the woman gets very emotional.. jumping from one extreme of tears to anger to laughter. Not for me.. I just started getting really tired and sleepy toward the end.. particularly on Sunday (Day 5) when I worked for a few hours at school. I slept that afternoon for hours which is VERY unlike me!

Updates: House hunting

http://www.bangkokfinder.com/rental-listings/rent-houses_property2846.html

Are we mad!? Perhaps... Here are my feeble attempts to explain this momentary insanity.. It all started with the need to renew our contract, only to discover that our rent was increasing by 5%. Curiosity lured us into the housing market to check if we could get something better (grass is always greener ;-) or perhaps closer to Amandio's new job (due to start 1st September) which incidently is one block away from my school. Needless to say, I am also an avid house hunter, analysing the endless lifestyle possibilities presented by each location, decoration, style and facilities. The second I walked into an apartment, I was already mentally decorating, rearranging furniture, imagining us carrying out our lives.. this ability of mine to visualise can be great.. but after viewing numerous apartments my head was lost in a whirlwind of options. We had to centre ourselves and quickly realised that though our apartment badly needs some renovation, particularly in the bathrooms and kitchen, the whole package surpasses anything else on offer. This is when we turned our attention to townhouses. In Bangkok, townhouses are what we would call 'a row of houses' but in a compound (size can vary) with 24 hour security and generally with a pool. Friends of ours live in a compound of only four houses and we have always been attracted to this style of living. Our agent selected a few for us to view and the one above has triggered the dream. The ground floor comprises of the living space (modern kitchen, dining and sitting areas) up a flight of stairs to the master bedroom, large walkin closet (yippee!!!) and large bathroom..up to the second floor with two en suite guest bedrooms. The last floor is mostly the maids quarters with the added bonus of a roof top terrace. This is just a concrete space for now, but I plan to get a gardner in to design a lovely peaceful haven. At present, two thirds of our view is sky. .which is something that I will miss.. however, to compensate we can make this home a garden paradise. Part of the front wall is completely glass, reaching from the ground to the roof with concrete plant beds waiting to be filled with orchids and hanging plants. Each bedroom as a balcony also with plant beds and of course the roof top terrace. Did I mention that the address is 'Garden Place'? LOL. The pool isn't quite as big as what we have now and unfortunately there isn't a tennis court (Amandio swears that he doesn't mind playing tennis with our neighbour in our current place at weekends). The house is in a new part of BKK for us.. Thonglor.. minutes walk away from loads of restaurants, shops and life.. that is a big plus too. THe fact that it is also quieter is also a big plus. Seeing as the rent is also cheaper, we would hire a live-in maid, who would double as a nanny when the time comes. This would also provide some peace of mind for Amandio when he travels and also prove beneficial when dealing with phone/internet/maintenance companies etc.
Hmmm.. I guess, what it all boils down to though is that both of us like adventure and the challenge of change. Starting a new family also somehow calls for a 'house' life. Right now we have left it all in the hands of fate.. having met the landlady requesting a few renovations (dining table and chairs for one thing. While I am prepared to buy bedside tables, book cases etc, big items of furniture seem pointless). If she agrees we will more than likely move in November (after most of the IVF treatment is over). For now though, we have pushed this aside and IVF is the main focus again. Que sera, sera :-)

IVF 1

Sitting down this evening (Amandio is watching football and Formula 1), having slept a couple of hours after I got home from work, to begin my IVF diary... before time passes and catching up becomes daunting. I am already 10 days into the treatment!

It all started on the 12/13th of August (Mother's Day in Thailand) with a trip to the doctor. The first task at hand was an ultrasound to check that my uterus and ovaries were clear of new endometriosis build up and cysts. I have to admit that I held my breath during that, fully aware that the smallest white blob in the sea of black swirls could be another setback. Our doctor took the time to carefully point out everything in detail, taking measurements and scrutinizing each mysterious fold (god knows, I just nodded along.. trying in vain to distinguish each one :-) .. thankfully there were no problems there.

Step 2 was an injection (a new innovation to replace a nasal spray which would have been awkward as it has to be administered every 6 hours) to supress some hormones to prevent early ovulation (as far as I understood). I had that week off work and really started feeling a bit restless. I made one last valiant effort to go to the gym every morning and was back to running 5kms in 25-30 minutes in the realisation that I would soon be sitting on my laurels, forbidden any kind of strenous exercise for at least the next three months.. I could just visualise those pounds piling on. Also knowing though that when the time comes my only concern will be keeping the baby and all aspirations of looking good will be irrelevant. As I said though.. I was bored... to such an extent that I actually asked my director for some work (two hours a day) to keep me occupied. That along with one private student at home kept my mind busy. Though I think it is good to enter into a relaxed frame of mind, I don't really want to let IVF be the only thing going on in my life.. particularly when I don't feel any side effects and still have lots of energy to burn ;-)